Monday, October 11, 2010

Don't Let Fear and Negative Thoughts Cloud Your Way

Scripture: 2 Timothy 1


For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control.


Saturday October 9th 1:30 pm Pacific Time....Teacher states with glee "Each of you is going to leave class today with a completed landscape of the oceanside." My first thought was Suuuurrrreee I will. Me who cannot draw a straight line will paint a landscape.

Fear sets in, what was I thinking signing up for an Acrylic painting class? I did look good sitting there with all of my "appropriate" tools. The right paint brushes; all of the paints listed on the class sheet. Two buckets of water, masking tape, everything I needed except TALENT.

I almost talked myself out of a great experience. I was about to succumb to the menace that has haunted me most of my life. "I am just not good enoughitis." Not good enough to even try. Not good enough to follow the advice I have given to so many others. Now, is it just me or do people who are so busy encouraging others forget to follow their own advice?

I made the first brush strokes laying down the background color and it looked pretty good, of course I forgot about the rule of 3rd we had just learned but it was fixable. Next came the waves, the outlines of rocks, and my light house that looks more like a bowling pin. I made clouds with my fingers and white caps for waves with a sponge and gesso. I was having so much fun. I was learning to allow my self to play. It did not have to be perfect. I did not have to be afraid, I just needed to "chill out " and let the juices flow.

On my way home I knew I wanted to write on this blog about this experience. I do not drive so I was on the bus proudly carrrying my painting taped to my drawing board. One of the passengers noted my "Masterpiece" and stated how nice it was. That sealed the deal, I had to put this experience on my blog. I wanted a scripture to reflect my thoughts and this morning it came to me, the verse above from Second Timothy. I always tell my friends the God had given us all of the tools we need to accomplish the things we need to accomplish. We just have to use them. We just have to get out of our own way. Time to follow my own advice again....

I could have looked at my first attempt and went "YUK!!!!" I could have said, "Told You so." I could have done the cowardly thing and hidden the painting you see above. But, if I am to live by the scripture written above, I needed to pay homage to my very first attempt at a landscape. I needed to look at it with pride and see where does it need a tweak and a nip and get busy creating.

Gabby our teacher reminded us that in three hours you are just going to learn the basis, you are not going to become Picasso. I just have to enjoy the process, smile with pride and play, play, play.


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Shiva Devi said...


Nice painting! I can very much relate to your feelings. I have been talking myself out of things my entire life, so good for you! You are flying!


pilgrim said...

Thanks Zulema for the nice comments, it is a daily goal to do something that strengthens me